a search helicopter?!
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
