is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
