vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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