I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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