And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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