What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
