I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
