i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
