Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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