Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
