So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
