if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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