He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
