his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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