i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
