i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
