what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
