woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
