She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
