Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
