do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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