so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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