I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
