Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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