Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
