I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
