How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
