I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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