I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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