so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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