I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
