Well apparently he's into motor boating.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
