Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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