And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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