Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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