is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You may now shotgun with the bride
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
