I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
