Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
