I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Randomize
