so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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