Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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