I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
