i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
