Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
