This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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