; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I party with great urgency now.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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