I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
