Duck Duck Cougar?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
