you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
