i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
