haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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