I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
